Why Words Matter

John Jewell from the Vanderbilt Divinity school tells this story: “It was the first time in my life I had encountered a ‘tongue lashing.’ My friend Jimmy Turner was receiving one from his mother. Jimmy and I had been tormenting his sister Laurie. (Jimmy because she was his sister and I because that was a little boy’s way of showing love and affection for a little girl!)

I was absolutely amazed at the power of Mrs. Turner’s words to transform Jimmy’s behavior. I was glad that I was not on the receiving end of her powerful words. They cut like emotional razor blades across Jimmy’s rough exterior.

Mrs. Turner (the grownups called her Mabel) was a tiny little lady who walked with a cane. Her husband, Jack Turner, on the other hand was a great big hulk of a man. Most of the men in our small Northern Ontario mining town who had much sense never bothered Jack Turner. But it was rumored that even Jack Turner came about like a well handled sail boat when Mabel Turner drilled him with her tongue.

The power of words – they have the power to hurt or to heal – they can tear down or build up. Words are very powerful. By the word God created the heavens and the earth, through the word God became flesh and through God’s word death and destruction also came down to earth. In the letter of Hebrews is says, “The Word of God is living and powerful — it is sharper than any two edged sword.”  (Heb. 4:12)

Today’s scripture reading from the letter of James is a good test of Christian maturity, and if you want to know how you’re doing listen to this quick assessment from James 3: 2. I’m interpreting it here. “If it were possible to control the tongue it would also be possible to have perfect control over ourselves in every other way.

While Paul frequently talks about the mystery and wonder of faith – James is the one who puts it into street language. James writes about and for the human condition from the Christian perspective. If you want to know what to do as a Christian or how to behave as a Christian James is a good person to listen to.

Consider for a moment the wonder and power of speech. When we hear a word, the physical movement that enters our ear and then the inner ear activates 24,000 little nerves, which react through the limbic system resulting in the pituitary gland sending hormones into the body.

Our whole physical system reacts when we hear words of care or condemnation. When we hear words that bring us pain or anxiety, the physical-chemical reaction takes 72 hours to subside. It takes three days for us to chemically get over hurtful words.

I never realized that until I began researching this sermon. It explains to me why in counseling I often hear. “But I apologized to her. I said I’m sorry and she’s still upset with me.

It’s incredibly important for those of us who claim Jesus Christ as Lord of our lives to look very carefully at the Lordship we give him over what we say. Most people are far more sensitive than we know and when we’re honest, most of us are more sensitive than we dare to admit.

The old children’s rhyme “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me”, is the biggest a crock of you know what that we tell our kids. I can remember times when I was younger wishing my Dad would just spank me rather than tell me how disappointed he was in me.

Our scripture lesson from James may seem harsh but if you look at it carefully with an open mind, you will see he’s right on target.  The unbridled tongue he says, “…is set on fire by hell.

There’s a story of a man who lived in a highland village in Scotland. He passed along a story about another man that he didn’t like. The story, he thought, was true. When the story got around the village, it utterly destroyed the man. His family, his job and his integrity were all devastated by the rumor mill.

Discovery that the story he’d passed along was false and that he’d help destroy and innocent man, he went to his pastor (whom they called Ian) and said, “Ian, I have destroyed a man with my words” and he told his pastor the whole story. “Please Pastor Ian,” he said, “I am sorry – can I be forgiven for this?”

The pastor told the man that it wasn’t as simple as all that and he told him to take a bag of feathers and place one in the front yard of every house in the village. Although the fellow thought this was a very strange thing to do, he really wanted forgiveness, so he followed the instructions to the letter. At last he came back to the pastor and said, “Ian, I have done all that you asked, now can I be forgiven?”

“Not yet,” the pastor replied, “You must first retrace your steps and bring back to me every feather you placed in the village!”

“But, Ian – I could never do that, the wind has carried the feathers away!”

“Yes,” the pastor said, “And in like manner have your careless words destroyed an innocent man!”

James concludes that the tongue cannot be tamed – except – as in his metaphor of the ship – except by the rudder, which is controlled by the pilot of the ship. “Look at ships,” he says, “Although they are so large and driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder whenever the pilot desires.”

We are the pilots and our tongues are the rudders that determine the course of our lives and the lives of others. If we are able to control our tongue, James suggests, we have begun to mature in our relationship with God. And the key to our maturity and our success lies in our willingness to bring our lives and our words completely under the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

The fact is our use of words is closely linked to our being created in the image of God. What we say to each other is powerful. We can draw people to God with our speech or we can turn them off. We can set the course of a child’s life with a careless word and we turn a person’s life around with one that nourishes.

In fact Jesus thinks our use of words is so important that he gives us this heads up: “I tell you, on the day of judgment you will have to give an account for every careless word you utter…” (Matthew. 12:36)

We’ve been entrusted with a great power here. We have been given a gift that can create or destroy. We can use it to build up or to tear down. Let’s be faithful in how we use it. Amen